An angel on his two knees, arms stretched towards the red sea; of violence and a sultry tongue.

-Sunday, June 24, 2007-

[BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH]

neverath : where you all studying at?
me : singapore poly
ck : SurePass
neverath : what course?
me : business admin
the dota host : sai kang course
me : ya lor
the dota host : then y u studying there?
me : i'm not studying, i'm just delaying NS.

hahaha then it was followed by some ridiculous dota match where the 2 school haters, ck and i starred in, WE WERE SANTA CLAUSES, BUT CK IS A SANTA CLAUSE WHO KILLS, THEN GIVE THE PRESENT ROFL.

[Love, J] ;7:58 PM;

[Our youth is fleeeeeeeting]

heeello :) i'm in a good mood now, having winning a dota match before you sleep helps. hahaha what can i say i'm still loving dota after so many years. next weeks is mid semester test week, the thought of it is depressing but somehow poly work doesn't affect me too much anymore, i'll just do enough to pass it.

missing genting, really must go overseas again next vacation ok. also in need of doing some sports, i wana sweat. but no shoulder related sports please.

woo i just love to lie on my wonderful bed and listen to my super nice song on repeat.

i know the chances of finding my star amongst the galaxy is fucking rare, but i promise i'll keep a lookout !

[Love, J] ;5:58 PM;

-Sunday, June 17, 2007-

[I'm back!]

hello im back :) not that i wish to be . hehehehe genting was fantastic la. hope can go overseas together again next vacation, gotta start saving up $$.

quote from tim :

tim- genting is an interesting place 16-783 - pimp your vacation - rolex pushers, pimps, sohai service, mahai weather, jibai busride.

AHAHAHAHA FREAKING FUNNY LA TIM.

FUN FUN FUN I MISS IT ALREADY.

[Love, J] ;6:55 PM;

-Thursday, June 14, 2007-

[GENTING!!]

I'M NOW AT JW'S HOUSE WITH THE REST OF PEOPPPPLEEE. WILL BE MEETING THE OTHERS FOR GENTING TRIP IN APPROXIMATELY 4HOURS. HAHAHHAA CANT WAIT FOR GENTING, WILL BE GONE FROM 14-16! UPDATE WHEN I'M BACK :)

[Love, J] ;1:48 AM;

-Saturday, June 09, 2007-

[Life kinda sucks, BUT]

Life kinda sucks, when you play dota in the form of a lagger.
Life kinda sucks, when you just lost WCG DOTA.
Life kinda sucks, when you just got turned down when asking for her number.
Life kinda sucks, when you are having a 2 weeks break just to know the exams are scheduled at sch reopening.
Life kinda sucks, when you know that all your notes are blank and you've got nothing to study from.
Life kinda sucks, when your shoulder injury that was incurred few months ago is still far from fully recovering.
Life kinda sucks, when you know that not all of your good friends are going overseas with you.
Life kinda sucks, when you feel that the air that you breathe is running out.

BUT, for some reason, i feel that all these will get past quickly and there's something really good that's going to happen. call it gut feeling, i have no idea what but i feel it and let's hope it's really going to happen. CHEEERSSSS. (: oh cool some long lost game friend just jioed a draft match, hopefully i won't dc.

[Love, J] ;1:10 AM;

-Tuesday, June 05, 2007-

[Headshot]

today i died once.

[Love, J] ;12:25 AM;

-Saturday, June 02, 2007-

[Is it worth it?]

questions, what are we becoming? where did our dreams go to?

school and work, seems like there's almost no time for everything. during this work+school lifestyle, i felt 2 things : loneliness and emptiness. maybe there were just a few moments of true joy. just a few. being the think too much and nothing is done person, i am going to try change this time, think enough and do something for once. maybe we are all "young adults" now, everyone is trying to experience or rather feel like an adult, this begets the third question, is it worth it? working your youth your nights away, just to achieve material success. the funny thing about money is, you want it to be able to spend it with people that you love, yet you neglect them in the process to get more of it.

nothing is important anymore best describes what i feel now; money? fuck it. friends? i don't know, some of them change too fast that i'll just have to accept them as they are. family? maybe i do, i think i love my brother alot, which is why i will never ever introduce him into highlanders despite him asking for job vacancies, perhaps i should just give him part of my pay. interests? they are still there, but no one to share them with, or time, will remember when we used to go swimming or basketball and jamming together. emptiness is a fucking epidemic spreading so quickly, but i will stay true to myself, i will buzz off, cut ties where there is a need to. i'll fill this emptiness with happiness, which i'm still searching for and in hopes will find it soon, not with more money in bank, smoke in my lungs, branded clothes to cover, alcohol to forget or shallowness to impress.

i know this post seems confused but i think those who truly understand me will understand what is needed to, and i think those are the very minority. life goes on, and as what jw said, " as friends, all we can do is advise, any more we are a bore, any less we are not doing what friends should do." nothing much is going to change on the surface but in due time, causes and effects will show.

i'll choose loneliness over emptiness, and forgive me for doing so.

[Love, J] ;3:36 PM;